The man who sold the world...

Today, I am taking the plunge.

Homeless Outfit- "grunge hat"

Slouchy “Homeless outfit” Grunge Hat

What the hell is a “homeless outfit”?

It's the same nasty ass grungy clothing your ass wears all the time because it's comfortable. Almost everyone has some sort of “Homeless Outfit” even if it's just some ratty ass old sweatpants and your “Team Building Exercise '99” t-shirt. Whatever. You got one, I got one, no one gives a shit.

I made this hat for my “Homeless Outfit” so I could hide my gross ass hair underneath something.

Before We Begin:
I made this project to bust my stash, so there are roughly about 11 bits and pieces of yarn in this ugly thing.
Although it is primarily worsted weight material, there are some bulky yarns mixed in, as well as a spot of fingering weight, so there is no gauge.

No gauge.
Just wing that one, kid.
Also, this hat is slouchy, keep that in mind too.



What You Need:
-Size 5 DPN's
-Yarn- Either One Skien or bust your stash.
Keep in mind- No Gauge due to the bulkier yarns used, but if you use on type of yarn, use worsted.

So....this shit is mostly random as hell, but I will include a “key” of the colors I used for the “patterns” sake.
(( even though there isn't one...))
A- Color 1
B-Color 2
C-Color 3
D-Color 4
E-Color 5
F-Color 6
G- Color 7
H- Color 8
I-Color 9
J- Color 10

How To:
1. Cast on 75 st between the three DPN's with A
2. *K2, P2 to make 2x2 Ribbing.
3. *K2,P2
4. *K2,P2
5. *K2, P2
6. *K2, P2
7. * Change to color B, work in St st.
8. * Change to color C, work in St st.
9. *Work row in St st.
10. * Work row in St st
11. * Change to D, work in St st.
12. *Work row is St.
13. * Work row in St.
14. * Work row in St.
15. * Change to E, work in St st
16. *Change back to D. Yo, K2tg.( Still, only 75 st at the end of this)
17. *Change to F. K every stitch.
18. * Change to G, work row.
19. *Change to B, work row
20. *Change to E, work row
21. * Using D and F, work 2stitches in each color all along the row. Take care to watch the floats.
22. * Change to G, work row.
23. * Change to H. Yo, k2tg
24. *Change to B. K every stitch.
25. *Change to E, work row.
26. *Change to I, work row.
27. * Change to F, work row.
28. * Change to J, work row.
29. * Yo, K2g
30. *Switch to I, work row.
Start Decreases:
31. * Using F, k 7 st K2tg.
32. * Switch to H, K row.
33. *Using E, k 6, K2tg
34. * work row
35. *Switch to B, K5, K2tg
36. *Switch to E, K row
37. * Switch to B, K4, K2tg
38. * Work row.
39. *Switch to E, K3, K2tg
40. *Knit row
41. *K2, K2tg
42. *Knit Row
43. *K1, K2tg
44. *K2tg
45. Bind Off

Watching the Watchmen...

hahahahaha.
I am fuckin' stoked for the Watchmen movie.
If you have no idea what I'm talkin' bout, then go buy the Graphic Novel, because the movie is coming out in March, & you won't want to miss this...


Anyway, the boyfriend needed a ski mask to keep him warm in these Michigan winters, so I made him one based on Rorschach's from the novel.


Here is the Pattern, my lovelies. Anyone can use it, but give credit where credit is due, please and thank you.

Materials:
- size 5 DPN's
- Black Yarn, One Skein, Worsted
-White Yarn, One Skein, Worsted.
- Darning Needle
(( Chart is featured below.))

-size F crochet hook.

Directions:
1. Cast on 75 stitches- 25 between each needle. Join.
2. Work three rows in 2x2 ribbing.
3. Work 13 rows in normal Stockinette stitch.
4. Work the 24 rows of the chart( on the bottom)
5. Begin decreases.
* Work 8 stitches in ST. K2Tg.
6. Work one row in ST.
7. * Work 7 stitches in ST. K2tg.
8.Work one row in ST.
9. *Work 6 stitches in ST. K2TG
10. Work one row in ST.
11. * Work 5 stitches in ST. K2tg
12. Work one row in St.
13. *Work 4 stitches in ST. K2tg
14. Work one row in ST.
15. * Work 3 stitches in ST. K2Tg
16. Work one row in St.
17. * Work 2 Stitches in ST. K2Tg
18. Work one row in ST.
19. * Work 1 st. K2Tg.
20. Work row in ST.
21.* K2tg every stitch.
22. Bind off.

Chart:


A few Notes:

Please Note
The Chart is 34 St by 24 St worked in ST.
Each "box" is One Stitch.
The "x" represent the color change.
I used black and white, but feel free to use whatever you want.


Work from the bottom up.

There is an eye hole in this mask. To make the eye hole, you simply bind off those stitches, then work up either side of the mask for 3 rows, then you cast back on the number of stitches you bond off for the eye hole. You then single crochet around the edges of the eye hole, and join in the middle.



There are a few problems with seeing the chart, I am told, but I can not access a scanner.
So, to remedy the problem, here is the chart as well.

O= Main color.
X= Second Color
%= Bind off
^= Cast on.


Each one is a Stitch.
Also, the "breaks" indicate every 5 stitches.

OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO
OOOOX XXXXO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OXXXX XOOOO
OOXXX XXXXX OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO XXXXX XXXOO
OXXXX XXXXX XOOOO OOOOO OOOOX XXXXX XXXXO
OOXXO OXXXX XOOOO OOOOO OOOOX XXXXO OXXXO
OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO
OXOOO OOOXX XOOOO OOOOO OOOOX XXOOO OOOXO
OOOOO OOXXX XXXOO OOOOO OOXXX XXXOO OOOOO
OOOOO XXXXX XXXOO OOOOO OOXXX XXXXX OOOOO
OOOOX X^^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^^X XOOOO
OOOXX X X X XOOO
OOOXX X X X XOOO
OOOOX X%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%X XOOOO
OOOOO XXXXX XXXOO OOOOO OOXXX XXXXX OOOOO
OOOOO OXXXX XXOOO OOOOO OOOXX XXXXO OOOOO
OOOOX OOOOX XOOOO OOOOO OOOOX XOOOO XOOOO
OOXXO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OXXOO
OXXXO XOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOX OXXXO
OOXXX XXOOO OOOOX OOOOO XOOOO OOOXX XXXOO
OOOXX OOOOO OOOOX XOOOX XOOOO OOOOO OOOOO
OOOOO OOOXO OOOXX XOOOX XXOOO OXOOO OOOOO
OOOOO OOXXX XOOXX XOOOX XXOOX XXXOO OOOOO
OOOOO OXXXX XXXXX XXOXX XXXXX XXXXO OOOOO
OOOOO XXXXX XXXXX XOOOX XXXXX XXXXX OOOOO
OOOOX XXXXX XXXOO OOOOO OOXXX XXXX XOOOO
OOOXX XOOOX XOOOO OOOOO OOOOX XOOOX XXOOO
OOOOO OOOXX XOOOO OOOOO OOOOX XXOOO OOOOO
OOOOO OOOOX XOOOO OOOOO OOOOX XOOOO OOOOO

Army of Fucking Cute

God Damn, I can not update this blog for shit.
I geuss college kids really are lazy as fuck.


Anyway, yesterday I came into possession of what seems to be the absolute cutest crochet book ever. ( Look Left)

& I am obsessed. It's all that annoyingly cute amiguri shit, except that it's zombies and vampires and wacky shit like that.

I seriously can't wait...
I already started Nosferatu, who, if you have never seen the book for the movie, is this old school vampire who looks like a future pedophile. ( Next Image)



Gaaah, I am so fucking excited for this.


Now, although the book is cute, the thing it most did was inspire me to make an army of these little things, but with my own twist.
So, I think the first one coming off the assembly line after Nosferatu is gonna be a mini Bruce Campbell from Army of Darkness.

<3

Same Shit, Different Year

I've been busy.


Having a moderately drunk new year's eve, I decided to stay drunk until I had to return to school. That way, I could avoid responsibility until I was back at school, were I would also, embedded by alcohol,successfully avoid responsibility a little more.

Well, it didn't work.
So, to pass the time I knitted more ugly shit.
The hat to your left is my first real try a intarsia.

It turned out to big, but whatever.

Jayne's Hat

I've only had a couple fictional crushes in my time, and although the Red Power Ranger made the cut, Edward Cullen did not.

Maybe it's the fact that he's a wuss, or that instead of going to see Twilight I was watching Firefly instead....

I mean, how are you supposed to fall for some fictional pansy ass vampire when you can fall for this?


If you haven't seen the show, you would never know, but Jayne is gifted this fabulous hat from his mother.Which I have emulated here. I found the pattern on Revelry, and I couldn't be happier. <3

I enjoy winter a lot.

When it's actually winter.

Forgive me for being pampered by the Midwest, but I'm a girl who wants her snow and needs her snow.
Visiting my parents in the fabulous "Old Line State" is simply depressing, seeing as it's lukewarm almost always, then just blows giant gales of bitter wind that do nothing but chill to the bone.

To counter act both my boredom and the wind?
I make hats. Lots of ugly hats.